Do you ever have one of those days when it's hard to get out of bed? Or are your joints achy because of the cold weather? Maybe it's hard to focus on your work tasks? Or you're in the middle of an important meeting and you get a tickle in the back of your throat? Me too, but I struggle with these things daily.
It's been eight years since I was diagnosed with Sjogren's (SHOW-grins) Syndrome, an autoimmune disease that deteriorates my ability to make tears and produce saliva; and causes dry nose, dry skin, fatigue, joint pain and brain fog, among other symptoms. Having an invisible illness can be difficult as most people only see what's on the outside and think, "she doesn't look sick."
My day-to-day requires a lot of habit stacking. Even though I am in my eighth year with this diagnosis, I still struggle to remember to do everything. Beyond taking medication to control my symptoms, there are a lot of products that I need to use to help me feel comfortable and human during the day. My morning routine involves the following: Wake up with dry mouth, rinse with dry mouth mouthwash. Eat breakfast, take medication. Lotion body after shower, don't forget face cream, too. Put on mascara, put in eye drops. Wipe nose, put nose gel in. This is only half the battle.
The first year after my diagnosis, I wasn't feeling any better. The medicine was working, but not as much as I hoped. If anything, I was feeling worse. I was having trouble focusing on my tasks and staying awake at my desk. I was making mistakes and forgetting important information which was causing a lot of problems for me at work. I decided to look for advice from others online to see what else I could be doing to feel better. I couldn't possibly continue like this. That's when I discovered the AIP diet.
AIP stands for Autoimmune Protocol. The AIP diet is an elimination diet designed to help reduce inflammation or other symptoms caused by autoimmune disorders. It's comprised of two phases designed to help you identify and ultimately avoid the foods that may trigger inflammation and disease-specific symptoms. The hardest part of this diet was "elimination." I had to cut out almost everything I loved eating. Pizza, Oreos, churros, deli turkey sandwiches, potato chips, pasta, garlic bread, cheese, etc. It even comes with a "wallet-sized" cheat sheet, telling me to add vegetables, but no nightshades, and to add fruits, proteins and healthy fats, while avoiding grains, dairy, soy, processed foods...
Eating on campus was out of the question. Goodbye Richie's buffalo chicken cheesesteaks. Adios Qdoba queso dip and chips. The only places I can actually eat are Honeygrow or Saladworks because I can build my own salad and ask for oil and vinegar as the dressing. Most days I cook and bring my own food. I do my best to prep meals on the weekends. This way I know what's in it and I don't have to worry about feeling sick from eating something that could make my symptoms flare.
My worst symptoms, aside from the dryness, are profound fatigue and brain fog. It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get; I always wake up tired, weak, and feeling like something was sitting on me all night. After hitting the snooze button around three times, I still struggle to get up. I do my morning stretches and then I can get out of bed and into the shower to get my day started. My morning routine cost me about all the "spoons" I earned while I was sleeping. (The spoon theory explains that people living with chronic illness, chronic pain, and disability have limited energy resources and expend more energy on everyday tasks than people without illness and disability. In spoon theory, spoons represent both the physical and mental load required to complete tasks.) I typically recharge during my commute to work on the train. I do my best throughout the day to take breaks when I can and to be sure not to overextend myself.
Brain fog is another symptom that I really struggle with as well. Even writing this article took a lot of time and sessions to really work out my notes and edit what I was going to share. If you interact with me in the office, you will know that I have notebooks, post-its, word docs, agendas, planners, and to-do lists to keep me organized and on task. This is true for my home life as well. I have a whole command center in my kitchen with lists, calendar reminders, planned activities for the family, and a meal plan.
Sjogren's does not define who I am, but it does make me prioritize myself while still being a mom, wife, friend, and employee. If you've ever had a conversation with me about physical or mental fatigue, there's a 100-percent chance I've said to you, "You can't pour from an empty cup." While I may not have previously shared everything about my own challenges with others, I do try to spread wellness messages and positivity with whomever I encounter. It is important to know that none of us knows what another is bringing to the table - and giving one another this sort of grace and appreciation for wellness helps everyone.
Even though I have a positive outlook, am organized with my plans, am eating all the right foods and taking my medications as prescribed, the bad days still find me and are difficult to overcome. When my symptoms flare, it can be for many reasons and multiple factors. My body becomes very heavy, and I feel very weak, to the point where I am not able to walk or pick myself up. I pretty much shut down like a laptop until my battery is recharged. All I can do is sleep and wait for the pain to subside and the immense fatigue to lift. Thankfully these days do not come as often as they did before I was diagnosed.
Although I struggle with the symptoms of Sjogren's, every day is a new day to live my life and enjoy everything that comes with it. I share my story to help others like me and to prove that my illness does not mean my life is over. I just get the chance to overcome and keep going.